I’ve always been frugal due to the pressure of poverty and uncertainty about the future – saving money and not spending it was easy because the alternative was so dangerous.

Over time, my life has calmed down somewhat, and my savings have provided some stability, but it’s always important to remember this pressure – in the last year or so I’ve found myself unsure whether I should go out to get something to eat or make myself something at home, and while most people wouldn’t think twice about choosing the lazy option (eating out), justifying it with a number of reasons:

• It’s not that much money
• I don’t feel like cooking
• It’s ok, I’m a millionaire and can afford it
• Or the worst one, “you deserve it”

I can’t let myself slack on the savings goals, because every dollar I spend unnecessarily is several dollars I’m taking away from my future.

Shaquille O’Neal once played at Madison Square Garden against the New York Knicks in his first season in the NBA. He had a terrible game.

Afterward, his stepfather, a sergeant in the Army – a serious, strong man of character – called him and asked why he had played so badly. Shaq responded that he felt pressure.  His stepfather took him to see a family with no home.

The stepdad stopped, gave them money for their next meal, and said, ‘That’s pressure. You have everything; you’re weak. There’s no pressure in playing basketball and earning millions of dollars. Real pressure is felt by those who don’t know when or where their next meal will come from.’ He told him to get out and help that family. 

In Shaq’s words:

“I got out and saw a man with his wife and two children who had just lost their home. The man was looking for work. He told me he was cutting grass. I called a friend and asked him to get this man a job. I called another friend and said I needed an apartment for a family of four, promising to send a check the next day. They needed help. After that, I never felt pressure in a basketball game again because that family had real pressure.”

I’ve felt that pressure before, and I can’t let myself forget it, no matter how much money I have. It’s what separates those of us who climbed out of poverty to build something from those born into wealth – they are at a disadvantage because they lack the grit and determination, the need to survive, the missing edge they will never truly grasp.